Posts Tagged ‘Megan Devine’

Welcome Back

If 2022, did not start in a happy way for you and you too are grieving, this one is for you. Are all the Happy New year greetings, making you want to crawl under a blanket? Here is my poem and we’ll talk afterwards.

Early Grief

This is the path to peace,

Through the river of snot and tears,

Through the primal screams of loss,

Throught the primal screams of fears.


I’ve walked this path before,

Feeling numb, confused and lost,

So I leave these words as a map,

To help me feel, less lost.


For when your hungry, but cannot eat,

So tired, but cannot sleep,

When you sleep and sleep all day,

And still cannot see the way.


Time to rest and cry it out.

Drink lots of water, helps you out.

Not listen to anyone

Just doing, what can be done.


Take each second at a time,

More than that, fries your mind,

These are the ways, that have been kind

When your are lost, in space and time.


by Billie @billiescraftroom

About grief

Grief is tough, its messy, it knows nothing of time, space and special days, holidays. Weather you lost your special someone just before or during the holiday periods or at any other time, it can be especially hard when you see others expressing joy, when you are not on that page.

There is so much expectation around grief, I found I was bombarded with ‘suggestions’, the sentances that start with; ‘you should, you must, why don’t you.’ worst of all the ‘… wouldn’t want you to…’ Though the person saying that, may be sending it from a place of love, that sure isn’t how it lands. It can feel like, your pain is socially unacceptable, makes them uncomfortable and the message you can be getting is, just don’t do this around me!

Thing is in early grief, its not always possible to control thoughts, feelings and emotions. The smallest thing can cause a tsunami of emotions and the river of tears arrives. It takes all that you have, to stop from flopping to the floor, to join them. I hope you are given the time and space to process in your own way, in your own time.

Often though, pressures from all sides prevent that. Just know that what ever you are doing, that is helping you get through second by second, is the very best you can do right now.

Others opionions and expectations are theirs not a to do list, not yours.

In the early days when you can barely process the basics, fending off those expectations, suggestions, or trying to defend your need, to be doing what you are doing, is just too exhausting. Feeling the need to appoligise for your thoughts, feelings and actions. Horrible isn’t it.

  • If you are supporting someone through grief please take a moment to watch Megan Devine’s video on You Tube called, How do you help a greiving friend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2zLCCRT-nE
  • Here is a list of supportive sites if it is you who is grieving and feel you might like some external support https://aspacetoheal.wordpress.com/healing/peaceful-place/
  • Rainbows Bridge is a site discussing Pet Loss. https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/ They have advice on end of life care for your beloved pet, memorial space options, candle rememberance days. Its a kind space. Rainbows Bridge is a virtual memorial home and grief support community for your departed fur baby. Whether furry, feathered or scaled, all are welcome.

I’m so sorry for you loss, you do you, my post wasn’t about telling anyone what to do, think or feel. It was an expression of my own grief, I’m posting it as I know I’m not the only one grieving and perhaps the links later in the post, will be of use to you or someone you know.

If you are going to offer ideas to someone grieving, please ASK THEM first.

Sometimes, someone does want ideas and suggestions, but only when they are able to process, that information. Go in with that advice too soon and its tmi. Also PLEASE don’t offer anything you are not willing or able to come good on. Its a difficult time that is hard to navigate, its exhausting. Takes a lot of courage to reach out to someone, so please be mindful about what you offer someone who is grieving.

Each loss is unique depending on who or what you are grieving, can be person, pet, place, the old you and old situation. It also can differ depending on your relationship to that, as well how things ended.

Holding safe space for you while you navigate this difficult time.


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